Doctor Who: Let's Kill Hitler: First Draft Parody Script

Another great episode of Dr Who reviewed as a parody

Opens with a mini racing through a field to make crop circles.

Amy

See we are still a British show.

Mels comes racing in driving a Corvette. A Corvette which gets a nice shot parked next to the Tardis instead of the Mini.

Amy

Blast! Never mind.

Mels

You’ve got to get me out of here.

Doctor

But I’ve only just arrived.

Mels

You don’t want to stick around here Doctor. There is some nonsense going on where no ones dying. If you get this miracle sorted out in a day Torchwood will get bored.

A long time ago in Berlin.

Teselecta Nazi Officer

Time to suffer for your crimes Hitler.

The Tardis crashes into the side of the Reichstag with the worse sense of timing it has ever displayed.

Doctor

You shot my Tardis! Isn’t there an easier way of testing my “temporal grace”

Classic Who Fans

What?

Doctor

Allo Allo Allo, sorry for wrecking your office we had un petite problème.

Hitler

You saved my life.

Doctor, Amy Rory

Non!

Hitler

And you’re French?

Doctor

No, no. We’re British and proud.

Hitler

The British clearly have fearsome technology, I wont dare to attack you. I will shoot the man who tried to kill me though.

Rory punches Hitler in a fantastic character moment.

Rory

That was even better than Captain America.

Doctor

Hmm that could really change history. We’d best hide Hitler in the cupboard and hope he forgets this.

Rory

And I thought the title would lead to some moral dilemmas.

Mel

No time for that this episode is about me.

Mels dramatically regenerates into River Song. We wonder why time lords often regerate into new bodies which are actually past their physical prime.

Audience

So the Doctor could regenerate into a black man? That opens up some possibilities.

Amy

Mels you’re our Daughter? I’m too confused to show relief.

Mels

See Mum, you and Dad you did get to raise me. You even named your daughter after me.

Amy

Couldn’t the flashbacks have shown us having a close friendship? I named my daughter after my delinquent friend who caused me nothing but trouble. And you still turned into a psychopath. What kind of a mother am I?

Teselecta Opereative

That judgement can wait till later. Taking care of River Song will be an even greater achievement than punishing Hitler.

Teselecta Commander

River Song’s worse than Hitler? That sure is a bold statement.

Teselecta Opereative

Yes but we can’t do it here we need to go to The Library at the end of her life.

Teselecta Commander

No we’ll continue with the dramatic course of action we’ll chase her through Berlin.

River Song races through Berlin punishing some Nazis by forcing them out onto the street almost  naked. Amy and Rory try to follow but are miniaturised and taken into the Teselecta.

Rory

Miniaturisation? Oh no, Please no small jokes.

Teselecta Opereative

Quick put these wrist bands on they’ll protect you from the Teselecta antibodies.

Rory

What they don’t have a more intelligent way of recognising staff? That could be dangerous for you.

Doctor

Tardis I want a voice interface. Well a voice interface which comes with an image to be more specific.

An image of Rose appears.

Audience

Oh please not again.

The voice interface eventually changes to a young Amelia Pond.

Young Amy Pond

No one in the entire universe and at no point in history has ever come up with a cure for that poison.

Doctor

Typical thank you so much for that help.

Meanwhile back at the restaurant.

River Song

Hi mum, is it time for the mother daughter scene that everyone’s been waiting for since A Good Man Goes To War?

Telecta Amy

You killed the Doctor. Suffer!

Doctor

Killed Doctor Who?

Rory

Ok maybe a small joke would have been better.

Doctor

So Teselecta, got any useful exposition for me.

Teselecta Commander

The Silence is an organisation and not just one species.

Doctor

Oh good I don’t have to worry about forgetting those aliens name then. But I will have to update my blog.

Amy and Rory

Doctor!

Doctor

What? You’ve got the sonic screw driver. You can stop them from torturing your daughter.

They do so in the usual dangerous way. River then saves them from the antibodies, learning to pilot the Tardis with a speed the Doctor can only envy.

River Song

You’re a caring man, this has suddenly reversed all that brainwashing I had. Even all of Amy’s good stories about you didn’t do that.

Rory

Oh no the Doctor’s dead! Can any of us make it through an episode without that happening?

River Song

Don’t worry I’ll use my remaining regenerations to save him.

Doctor

I’m touched. Does that mean I get extra regenerations or just come back to life?

Writer Steven Moffat

Oh I think that question can wait.

Amy

So after all the longing to be with our daughter again, we’re just going to leave her?

Doctor

There comes a time when we all have to let our children go. Especially when they’re 48.

Copyright © Nathan Groves http://wondersandparodies.blogspot.com/
This Work Is Not To Be Reproduced With Out Permission.

Doctor Who: Day Of The Moon: First Draft Parody Script

Opens with our travellers being chased  by Canton.

Rory

A three month gap? That’s never good. In Star Trek they were always losing during the three month gaps.

Amy

Why are you doing this?

Canton

To take advantage of location shooting. We should use it when we have it.

*****

Doctor

Canton you're building the perfect prison… well besides the Pandorica. It’s a good job you managed to sneak my invisible Tardis in here.

Canton

Yeah for all of the Tardis security features it sure is easy to move. 

Doctor

Well I can’t have it getting me out of trouble all the time. It needs to be stolen occasionally.

*****

Rory

They’re everywhere. Everywhere! It’s an occupation!

Doctor

Which is why we’ll split up to record vocal information. They’ll never catch on to it and vaporise us one by one.

Rory

How quaint. What about a portable projector to keep their image on the Tardis wall so we’d remember what we have learnt? Or we could keep pictures of them in our wallets, on our watch…

Doctor

Don’t start that again.

Canton and Amy go to an orphanage where the manager has forgotten it’s been closed for two years… So have the lawyers, estate agents, child agencies, his family, friends and utility suppliers. The Silence sure are thorough.

Amy

Wandering around alone in the dark sure is fun when you’re looking for dangerous aliens. Whait my recorders flashing, I’ll go out the window. Ahh! That’s a scary image. Shouldn’t we be worried about the kids?

Writer Steven Moffat

No its ok this is culture.

Amy

Culture?

Writer Steven Moffat

Yeah we’re exporting British culture to America remember?

The impossible girl astronaut appears.

The impossible girl astronaut

Help!

Amy

Sorry to shoot at you before. Luckily I’m a lousy shot.

The impossible girl astronaut appears

I hope that’s not genetic.

The Doctor and Rory arrive.

Rory

Where’s Amy?

Canton

Sorry I was failing to get information out of the manager when it happened.

Silence

We are the silence. Silence will fall.

Rory

Great. We don’t need to worry then.

Silence

No I didn’t mean… never mind you’ll forget what I say anyway.

Doctor

So humans decided to go to the moon because the Silence wanted a spacesuit?

Rory

That doesn’t make any sense the Russians proved they had working space suits first.

Doctor

Yes but it would have been harder to film and market to Russia.

*****

Canton

Say something incriminating to this camera I’m clearly holding.

Silence

We’re called the Silence we don’t just talk for the sake of it.

Canton

Amuse me.

Silence

Oh ok. Kill us on sight. Do not hesitate, show no mercy then dispose of our bodies so that you don’t remember us again.

Canton

Wow that was a lot better than I expected.

The Doctors lands inside the Tardis of the Silence.

Doctor

Want to watch the moon landing on television? You should, you helped it happen which does devalue the achievement somewhat.

Silence

It is worse than that. We have been influencing humans since they made fire.

Doctor

What? Then why haven’t I met you before?

Silence

We’re quite.

Doctor

Well not any more.

Video Recording of Silence

Kill us on sight.

Silence

That idiot!

River Song

You’re a big scary alien no ones shot you on sight before?

Silence

Amazingly not.

River Song

So you’re not prepared for me then.

River shoots them all while the Doctor distracts her with his screwdriver.

River Song

Yeah thanks for the help honey. Didn't I shoot efficiently considering I forget them the moment I take my eyes off them. Gosh I hope my old fella didn’t see me do that.

Rory

If I wasn’t so astonished I might read something into what you just said.

****

President Nixon

We’re safe now then?

Doctor

Kind of. I’d keep recording conversations though.

Amy

So I guess we’re now going to look for the girl in the spacesuit?

Writer Steven Moffat

Haha yeah right. I’ wil tease you with the girls regeneration though.

Doctor

Well I really think I need a holiday. How about a cruise?

 

Copyright © Nathan Groves http://wondersandparodies.blogspot.com/
This Work Is Not To Be Reproduced With Out Permission.

Image property of the bbc 

Reasons to Love Rather Than Hate Doctor Who

Dr Who is  causing  great excitement on television.  Whether you’re a regular sci fi fan or not Dr Who can entertain and thrill you. These are some of the reasons the show is so well loved.

A long history of quality episodes

Debuting onold black and white televisions across the UK Dr Who holds the record for the longest running science fiction series. 23rd of November 1963 is the date it started making television history an it had been enjoyed by a wide audience ever since. Its being enjoyed across the world and and growing more and more popular in America.
The shows staying power can be attributed to the  dedication and love of all those involved in the show. From actors to directors. Writers to designers. You can tell that those  who have created fantastic episodes over the years have really cared about the show.

Fantastic stories

The premise of show allows the writers to do a rich array of stories.The Tardis can go anywhere, anytime and this has certainly been put to great use over the years. The Dr can interact with manyfamous people across historyand it is always fun to see how they interact with him.
Steven Moffat has done a brilliant job since taking over as show runner. Taking Dr Who seriously whilst still making the show fun. He has wonderfully simple ideas made scary in the shows and mixes in with this complex and engaging storylines which run throughout the series. This balance has made this show continue its tradition of entertaining adults and children alike.



Great characters

Whether a character is in Dr Who for one episode or is in multiple series a lot of effort is put into making them fascinating to watch. The stream of companions over the years have been perfect for the Dr and  audience. The Dr has had company to share experiences with and to help him in histravels. Whilst the audience has characters they can relate to easier than the mysterious Dr. Rory and Amy are wonderful as the first married couple to travel in the Tardis creating a refreshingly new dynamic for the series,
The Dr, whose true name we still don’t know, is thrilling to watch in all 11 incarnations. His regenerationshave affected his personaility as well as his appearence but deep down he is still the same oldloveable rogue timelord. There are many layers to his character and the continued mystery makes him all the more facinating. Matt Smith is perfecly cast as the 11th Dr mixing fantastic comic timing, with charm, intelligence and emotion.

Memorable villains

One of the most famous villains of all time has come from Dr Who. The Daleks. Quintesentionally British and afantastic design they have become an icon. The Cybermen, Sontarans, time lords, the master, and many more have kept us enthralled as they foolishy went up against the Dr.
Even villains who are seen in one show get a lot of effort put into them and become memorable. The villains keep the show scary in delightfully imaginative with their use of many clever and evil methods.

“Special” effects

The show started with a tiny budget and money has continued to stay tight ever since. But this has never dettered Dr Who which has always come out with ambitious storylines. Yes the city in The Daleks is clearly a model. And yes they expanded the corridors with painted sheets but they created an engrossing story. Special effects may impove over the years but the past effects are still good to watch and serve their purpose. It is good to see the new series has kept a slightly cheesy feel to some effects and make up as it adds to the charm and makes the show feel truly Dr Who.

In the future it will not be the special effects that are remembered but the fantastic stories.

 

Copyright © Nathan Groves http://wondersandparodies.blogspot.com/
This Work Is Not To Be Reproduced With Out Permission.