Doctor Who: An Unearthly Child: First Draft Parody Script

It's always more difficult to parody something I like but I wanted to have an affectionate look at the Dr Who series. This is a piece of television and sci fi history and I recommend watching classic Who if you haven't before.

Opens with a policeman walking through the London streets as he wanders where this great new theme tune is coming from.

Policeman Actor    

Ooh I’m getting a mysterious intro this show could make me big.

Tardis

Actually this is my mysterious into.

Policeman Actor

Oh. Well I’ll still remember this moment with fondness.

Cut to Susan’s school.

Barbara

I’m worried about Susan she appears intelligent.

Ian

She might still meet a man who loves her despite that.

Barbara

I don’t mean that I’m worried about her home conditions. She live in a junk yard.

Ian

We could try social services?

Barbara

In the 60s? They’re not what they will be. I think we should stalk her.

Ian

Ok nothing morally wrong with that I guess… We could talk to her?

Barbara

Oh but I want to do some stalking.

Ian

Well if we notice one more strange thing about her…

Barbara

She’s listening to some stange new age music.

Ian

That will do.

 

Cut to the junkyard which is still being patrolled by a police man. Street policing isn’t what it used to be.

Doctor

Move along nothing to see here.

Barbara

Ok Officer… wait a minute you’re not a policeman.

Ian

You’ve got Susan locked up in a police box.

Barbara

How ironic.

Susan

What’s going on?

Ian

What? It’s bigger on the inside.

Doctor

Oh please say something original.

Susan

But grand father no one has ever said that before.

Doctor

My Dear child, you’re not thinking fourth dimensionally.

Barbara

What is this?

Susan

I name it Tardis. Remember I get the credit for that name Tardis. Tardis. Tardis.

Ian

Lets get out of here, this can’t be possible. Wait this impossible door has us locked in.

Doctor

Hahahaha

Barbara

Wow that’s a really sinister laugh. You can’t be the shows hero surely?

Doctor

Well I’m going to keep you prisoner but it’s for the good of your world. Bad things could happen with the very idea of a Tardis.

Ian

Haven’t you read any of our science fiction? We have lots of crazy ideas that doesn’t mean we’ll invent.

Doctor

Enough! I need some adventure not constant debate. I’m taking you to a far away place, in time and space.

Ian

But you’ll be able to bring us back here?

Doctor

Ha! I’m not even sure where here is. I’m rather new at this. Now where’s the indicators?

Fin

 

Copyright © Nathan Groves http://wondersandparodies.blogspot.com/

This Work Is Not To Be Reproduced With Out Permission.

A History of The Russian Church

Looking at Russia's history and the challenges that churches face there

Russia has played a pivotal role in Eastern Europe and the world. Yet despite close connections with many democratic states, the country’s experience has mostly been of dictatorship and oppression. It has only just begun to experience the kind of freedom we enjoy in the west. A country filled with complexities, yet still many parts have simplicity in standards of living. Determined in progress yet still feeling strongly about tradition and faith. The diversity of the population has allowed many of the cultures older aspects to last in some places, whilst other areas have strived towards development and power. Although regularly facing oppression its people’s passion has helped the nation prevail through extreme events.

Geography and Landscape

Russia stretches across northern Eurasia, through 11 time zones. It varies dramatically from large forested plains, wide mountain ranges such as the Urals, and also artic/sub-artic areas.

Climate

Although often seen as cold and harsh, Russia’s vastness gives it a variety of climates, with many parts being warm and mild.

Major Cities

Moscow (the capital), St Petersburg, Novosibirsk and Nizhny Novgorod.

Borders

Countries in Asia and  Europe including the Ukraine, Norway, Finland, Mongolia and China.

Seas and Oceans

The coastline connects with the Artic and Pacific oceans as well as having important connecting seas such as the Black, Baltic, Caspian, North Sea and Sea of Japan.

History

Russia has suffered a lot of turmoil with war, political upheaval and financial crisis. Its vast, rich land brought cultural diversity as eastern and western tribes settled in the area. It first connected with the Christian Orthodox Church, as the country gained immigrants from the Byzantine Empire. This still continued through the invasion and occupation by the Mongols. With Orthodoxy becoming the official state religion in 988 AD after the Mongols were expelled. The country became more unified under a grand Tsar, firstly with the Riurikovich dynasty, and then the more famous Romanovs. The Tsar was seen as God appointed, doing God’s divine will on earth. Orthodoxy and the state became intertwined and the Church became a political institution.
Despite a Church endorsement of the Tsar and the religiousness of the people, many still sought there own voice, particularly as neighbouring Europe became democratic. The impact of financial trouble as well as famine and war caused dissatisfaction. Uprisings occurred against the Tsarist state in 1917 and a new government was put in place only to be overthrown three months later by the Bolsheviks, who established Communism. Following Marxist teaching Communism saw religion as, ‘the opium of the people’. It viewed the Church as anti revolutionary and many Church buildings were either destroyed or taking over by the Communist party. The Church no longer had a right to publicly promote itself; whilst anti religious material was encouraged. The country survived revolution and was united in facing threats such as that of Nazi Germany 1941. Which resulted in an estimated 27 million deaths.
However many other deaths occurred throughout communism, as a state run by fear, killed anyone it perceived as a threat. After communism fell in 1991 freedom of speech was allowed and for the first time a democratic government was established. Though the troubles Russia has faced still tell financially and socially.

Religion

Although changes in politics has tried to ignore or even destroy religion with its most difficult times being in the Communist period, belief in God has still prevailed and is a mainstay of the Russian people. Today Russia contains a variety of religious groups including Jews, Buddhists, Muslims as well as Christian. It is predominately still Orthodox; however other denominations are growing as is Islam. Since the fall of Communism the Church was again allowed to have a voice in the media and to re-establish or build Churches. Missionaries were welcome again, instead of having to smuggle in bibles. However although the number of people becoming Christians increased rapidly in the early 90s the figures can be misleading. It is believed that many Russians welcomed anything western including its Church. A Church that started in the early 90s registered that there had been thousands of baptisms, yet the congregation was still relatively small.
A country so long deprived of material goods was hungry for them. People searching for a better quality of life found 'prosperity preaching Churches', then got disheartened after these groups did not deliver. In 1997 a law passed by the government on religion, meant that fewer rights were granted to any religious group who didn’t have proof of worshiping within the country for at least 15 years. This was to protect the people from any such groups who may try to take advantage of them.
Unfortunately this complicated the work of those who genuinely want to see lives changed, as they are touched by God. Despite these difficulties there are still missionaries going to Russia and new Churches spring up. As well as short term groups, Christians are recognising a calling to long term commitments. With so much hurt there is a great importance in true teaching and building relationships to help lead people to Christ, so that they too can lead others.

Copyright © Nathan Groves http://wondersandparodies.blogspot.com/
This Work Is Not To Be Reproduced With Out Permission.

Into Verdun

A script I wrote a few years ago for practise. Designed for television about the battle of Verdun in World War One

Scene one

Camera opens with view of a long dark tunnel with light at the end. Dark tunnel starts rushing past and light gets bigger shoots out to quick red glow glance of green landscape
The red glow starts to appear again at bottom of the screen until you see the large burning city of Verdun. Camera seems to be falling then crashes into the ruins.
Shot of German gunners frantically reloading the gun standing back then firing it again.
Gun Captain
(Gazing at city) Switch over.
Gunner
Any news on them breaking Captain?
Gun Captain
No but they wont be able to stand it much longer. (Quieter to himself) who could?
Scene Two

Next shot on long dusty road with thousands of weary troops marching along it. Zoom in on the company.
Jean Luc
Were marching into hell.
Jacques
With nothing but the guns in our hands.
Jean
And the sacks on our backs
Captain Basly
In rotten boots.
Jacques, Jean simultaneously
Sir?

Captain Barsly

Come on lads i'm sure the place will brighten up when we get there.
Attempts a grim smile.
Jacques, Jean Luc
Aye sir!
Captain Basly
Come on pick it up, Lieutenant Denton can I trouble you a moment.

Lieutenant Denzon

Yes Sir.
Captain Barsly
What do you make of it?

Lieutenant Denzon

 Action seems very brisk sir. (Voice breaking slightly)

Captain Barsly
Certainly does Denzon, Certainly does.  We’ve been hearing the cannonade from miles away. Consistent never stopping. We must set an example to the men, show were not afraid.
Lieutenant Denzon
Yes sir.
Captain Barsly
I know this is your first real battle experience, it doesn’t look the best place to learn, but you will.
Lieutenant Denzon
Yes Sir. Sir why is this city so important.
Captain Barsly
The Germans want it and it’s our duty to stop them.
Scene three

Camera moves down the line to Jacques and Jean who are talking together. Some of the men flinch at a particularly large explosion.
Jean
Not far now.
Jacques
Should at least get a break when we get there.
Jean
(Gives short hollow laugh) You really think so.
Jacques
We deserve one.
Jean
Were soldiers no one thinks we deserve anything.
Jacques
The Captain will see to it he knows how to treat us right.
Jean
Yes he is but I don’t trust our new lieutenant.
Jacques
No one does he fresh.
Jean
At least we’ve got an experienced Captain.
Scene five

Camera shows birds eye view of city with the company marching into it.
Captain Barsly
Lieutenant stay here I’m going to see where were needed.
Lieutenant Denzon
Ye sirrrrrr!
Camera shakes from a large explosion. Stones and dirt fly everywhere. Shouts come all directions in the chaos. It’s the beginning of an extended reign of shells.
Lieutenant Denzon
Find cover!
(Men are seen diving left and right. Shot of an arm going flying through the air. Large crash as one of the defensive guns gets blown off its carriage.
There is an eerie almost quiet moment with the dull thud of fewer guns as the attack eases off. A wall next to Lieutenants Denzon’s head as dust begins to settle. Men start to peer from out from what little cover they could find.
The barrage then begins again and more shouts and screams occur. When it stops the men take a few minutes longer to start looking out. There’s a close up of Jean face who looks shaking. Lieutenant Denzon is kneeling he takes a deep breath then stands up and starts looking around.)
Scene Six

Lieutenant Denzon
Captain. Captain Barsly! C company report to me. C company on your feet now!
A few men get reluctantly to their feet.
Lieutenant Denzon
Where are the others? Has anyone seen the captain? Sergeant Rourkner.
Sergeant Rourkner
Yes Sir?
Lieutenant Denzon
Take a roll call.
Sergeant Rourkner
Sir.
Lieutenant Denzon
And find the Captain!
Sergeant Rourkner
Right Sir. C company form into files. Jean, Jean.
Camera moves round and zooms in on Jean who’s knelt by his dead friend Jacques.
Jean
He’s dead Sergeant!
Sergeant Rourkner
Come on jean.
Jean
Why?
Sergeant Rourkner
(Quiet for a moment) It’s hard to
Jean
We’ve only just got here it doesn’t seem right does it?
Sergeant Rourkner
No.
Jean
Killed so suddenly before he even got to see the enemy.
Sergeant Rourkner
Come on lad.
Jean stands up and looks at the remains of the company it’s visibly shrunken. There is shouting all around as the different companies try to regroup and there is still the threat of falling shells.
Sergeant Rourkner
Lieutenant!
Lieutenant Denzon
Sergeant. How many?
Sergeant Rourkner
29 dead, 6 seriously wounded, 2 took only minor injuries, and 12 are unaccounted for including Captain Barsly. Me and Kendell are the only Sergeants left. The other one has been found dead the other one is unaccounted for.
Lieutenant Denzon
(Gulps and takes a moment to think) Thank you sergeant. Keep looking for the missing Sargent Kendell find the medics. Private Retan find out who’s the commander here and see what’s happening.
Retan
Yes Sir.
Shot of Retan running off having to dodge several bodies on the way.
(The shot pulls back to show more of the city. It is still under a shell barrage with soldiers trying to sort the dead and injured.
The sun is beginning to set and the camera zooms back in on the German Battery.)
Scene Seven

Exterior, nighttime, line of German guns.
German Gunner one
Not a bad days work eh.
German Gunner two
We’ve done our jobs.
German Gunner one
We’ll make the fatherland proud.
German Gunner two
If we see it again. It’s been over a year now.
German Gunner one
They must be tired of the killing by now.
German Gunner two
Like we are?
German Gunner one
There weak we will win.
German Gunner two
I just pray it ends soon.
Scene Eight

Interior, daytime Verdun hospital
(Scene opens with Lieutenant Denton looking around a dark and dirty medical centre. He spots his captain.)
Lieutenant Denton
Captain!
Captain Barsly
(Looks weakly up at him, he is covered in blood.) Denton? The men?
Lieutenant Denton
Fine Sir.
Captain Barsly
Really?
Lieutenant Denton
We got off lightly Sir!
Captain Barsly
Good. Except you’ve lost a Captain.
Lieutenant Denton
(Mumbling slightly) We haven’t lost you yet Sir. You, you will recover.
Captain Barsly
(Gives short pained laugh) You’ll need that kind of attitude to get the men through this wretched place.
Lieutenant Denton
Yes Sir!
Captain Barsly
(Grabs Denzons arm weakly) Do your duty! (Captain Barsly dies, the sound of other patients crying out rises again.)
Lieutenant Denton
I will Sir. I will!
Lieutenant Denzon walks out trying not to look at all the injured. He walks up the steps into the daylight.
Scene Nine
Exterior, Daytime outside one of Verdun’s buildings.
(Sergeant Rourkner and Sergeant Retan are sat talking on pile of rubble.)
Sergeant Rourkner
We really should get on with our jobs.
Sergeant Retan
Yes we should!
(Neither moves. They continue staring into the sky.)
Sergeant Rourkner
What a mess.
Sergeant Retan
A right mess
Sergeant Rourkner
Almost half the company dead.
Sergeant Retan
In just 10 minutes.
Sergeant Rourkner
Just 10 minutes.
Sergeant Retan
Were not going to survive this are we?
Sergeant Rourkner
It’s unlikely.
Sergeant Retan
Who will?
Sergeant Rourkner
There are always…
Sergeant Retan
What survivors?
Sergeant Rourkner
It can’t last.
Sergeant Retan
War shouldn’t be like this.
Sergeant Rourkner
(Snorts)What did you expect?
Sergeant Retan
I don’t know.
Sergeant Rourkner
No one expected it to be like this.
                   Sergeant Retan
So much death. Mindless, indiscriminate death.
Sergeant Rourkner
(Looks aound) There’s more to come.
Sergeant Retan
Much more?
Sergeant Rourkner
I feel it’s just started.
Scene Ten

Exterior, behind a defensive wall, early morning.
Lieutenant Denzon
Were at the defence line now.
Private Gutan
(Looks at part of defensive wall, which has been, destroyed camera zooms in on it.)
Great!
Sergeant Retan
Quite!
Lieutenant Denzon
Seargent Retan! Set up position. Sergent Rourkner to me.
Sergeant Rourkner
Sir.
Lieutenant Denzon
Half the company dead.
Sergeant Rourkner
A few more sir.
Lieutenant Denzon
Thank you Sergeant. How are the men?
Sergeant Rourkner
                        Shocked sir.
Lieutenant Denzon
Can they still fight.
Sergeant Rourkner
(Angry) They’ll fight… I’m sure.
Lieutenant Denzon
Good.
Sergeant Rourkner
Sir may I ask a question.
Lieutenant Denzon
Yes Seargent.
Sergeant Rourkner
Will our fighting here do any good?
Lieutenant Denzon
Seargent this…
Sergeant Rourkner
Don’t mistake me sir. Half our men are gone. What have the Germans lost?
Lieutenant Denzon
A lot.
Sergeant Rourkner
They can’t be suffering as much as us.
Lieutenant Denzon
We’ll hurt them. Command has a plan.
Sergeant Rourkner
What plan?
Lieutenant Denzon
Classified.
Sergeant Rourkner
Really…. Sir!
Lieutenant Denzon
Your now Sergeant major.
Sergeant Rourkner
I thought so Sir.
Lieutenant Denzon
Carry on sergeant.
Sergeant Rourkner
Yes sir.
Scene Eleven

Exterior, daytime In a ditch by a defensive wal.l
Private Gutan
The smells just as bad here.
Private Jean
It stinks everywhere.
Private Gutan
True.
Private Jean
The stench of death.
Private Gutan
Other things too.
Private Jean
I don’t want to think about the other smells.
Private Gutan
There the all cause the same thing.
Private Jean
Death.
Camera moves along line of men to another company whose eyes are swollen from tiredness.
Private Jean
We better not be here long.
Private Gutan
Why not?
Private Jean
Well get like that.
Private Gutan
They’ve been here less than a month.
Private Jean
No.
Private Gutan
It’s true.
Private Jean
We are dead what ever happens
Private Gutan
What’s that noise?
(Camera zooms in on German line as a large barrage starts. Men start running towards the defences.)
Sergeant Rourkner
Enemy in sight sir.
Lieutenant Denzon
Thank you Sergeant.
Private Jean
Oh no.
Lieutenant Denzon
Make ready!
The men release the safeties on their weapons. Close up of a gun spring being pulled back.
Lieutenant Denzon
Fire!
Men along the line are shown firing, camera moves in on a couple of dispassionate faces.
Moves across to the running Germans and zooms in on a young officer.
German officer
Keep go…
(The German officer is shot. Camera moves back showing the shrinking distance between the two enemies.)
Lieutenant Denzon
Grenades!
(Men pull grenades out and start lobbing them with devastating effect.  The Germans then crash into the French lines.)
Private Jean
Sarge look out!
(Sergeant Rourkner dodges aside avoiding an attacking Germans bayonet thrust. He then kills the German with a hard blow to the head from his gun.)
Sergeant Rourkner
Thanks Jean.
(Fierce hand to hand ensues until with many men falling until a group of French reinforcements manage to drive the Germans into retreat.
A lieutenant who led the reinforcements walks close to Lieutenant Denzo.).
Lieutenant Denzon
(Gasping for breath) Thank you.
(Close up of Lieutenant as he looks blankly at Lieutenant Denzon, then carries on walking.)
Lieutenant Denzon
Sergeant Rourkner.
Sergeant Rourkner
Sir!
Lieutenant Denzon
How did we do?
Sergeant Rourkner
We lost 6 more, three wounded.
Lieutenant Denzon
Where are the wounded?
Sergeant Rourkner
Over here Sir.

Scene Twelve

Ext, day, trench
(They move over to a slightly more sheltered part of the Trench where there are several badly injured men.)
Lieutenant Denzon
Hold tight help will be here soon.
Wounded man one
Sir?
Lieutenant Denzon
Yes?
Wounded man one
Did we hurt them?
Lieutenant Denzon
Yes. They’ll think twice before attacking us again.
Wounded man two
Good.
Wounded man one
I’ve got a letter in my pack. Can you pass it on to my wife when I die?
Lieutenant Denzon
You’re not going to die.
Wounded man two
Tell them we fought well.
Lieutenant Denzon
You all fought well.
Wounded man one
Thank you Sir.
Lieutenant Denzon
Hang on. I’ll get you all out of here soon.
Wounded man one
Yes Sir.
Wounded man two
You did well Sir.
Lieutenant Denzon
I…
(Wounded man two dies)
Lieutenant Denzon
Sergeant Retan!
Sergeant Retan
Yes Sir!
Lieutenant Denzon
Find some stretcher bearer quickly. Get these wounded men to the hospital.
Sergeant Retan
Yes Sir!
Scene thirteen
Ext night time German lines.
German soldier one
They’re still fighting.
German soldier two
They certainly are.
German soldier one
I didn’t think there would be many left to fight.
German soldier two
There is still alot left.
German soldier one
How ?
German soldier two
Who can tell?
German soldier one
We need more guns.
German soldier three
Would there be any space to put them?
German soldier one
Be better than going out there again.
German soldier three
The place is in ruins. Yet that city is  still a strong defensive position.
German soldier two
I hate the French defensices
German soldier three
We took Fort Douaumont and Harcourt. We can take fort  Verdun.
German soldier two
Were you at Douaumont or Harcourt?
German soldier three
No.
German soldier two
I was. It will be a long bloody business.
German soldier one
I wonder if anyone will be left to savour victory.
German soldier three
If there's anything left to savour.
German soldier two
The price may be too high to consider it a victory.

Copyright © Nathan Groves http://wondersandparodies.blogspot.com/
This Work Is Not To Be Reproduced With Out Permission.

Reasons to Love Rather Than Hate Doctor Who

Dr Who is  causing  great excitement on television.  Whether you’re a regular sci fi fan or not Dr Who can entertain and thrill you. These are some of the reasons the show is so well loved.

A long history of quality episodes

Debuting onold black and white televisions across the UK Dr Who holds the record for the longest running science fiction series. 23rd of November 1963 is the date it started making television history an it had been enjoyed by a wide audience ever since. Its being enjoyed across the world and and growing more and more popular in America.
The shows staying power can be attributed to the  dedication and love of all those involved in the show. From actors to directors. Writers to designers. You can tell that those  who have created fantastic episodes over the years have really cared about the show.

Fantastic stories

The premise of show allows the writers to do a rich array of stories.The Tardis can go anywhere, anytime and this has certainly been put to great use over the years. The Dr can interact with manyfamous people across historyand it is always fun to see how they interact with him.
Steven Moffat has done a brilliant job since taking over as show runner. Taking Dr Who seriously whilst still making the show fun. He has wonderfully simple ideas made scary in the shows and mixes in with this complex and engaging storylines which run throughout the series. This balance has made this show continue its tradition of entertaining adults and children alike.



Great characters

Whether a character is in Dr Who for one episode or is in multiple series a lot of effort is put into making them fascinating to watch. The stream of companions over the years have been perfect for the Dr and  audience. The Dr has had company to share experiences with and to help him in histravels. Whilst the audience has characters they can relate to easier than the mysterious Dr. Rory and Amy are wonderful as the first married couple to travel in the Tardis creating a refreshingly new dynamic for the series,
The Dr, whose true name we still don’t know, is thrilling to watch in all 11 incarnations. His regenerationshave affected his personaility as well as his appearence but deep down he is still the same oldloveable rogue timelord. There are many layers to his character and the continued mystery makes him all the more facinating. Matt Smith is perfecly cast as the 11th Dr mixing fantastic comic timing, with charm, intelligence and emotion.

Memorable villains

One of the most famous villains of all time has come from Dr Who. The Daleks. Quintesentionally British and afantastic design they have become an icon. The Cybermen, Sontarans, time lords, the master, and many more have kept us enthralled as they foolishy went up against the Dr.
Even villains who are seen in one show get a lot of effort put into them and become memorable. The villains keep the show scary in delightfully imaginative with their use of many clever and evil methods.

“Special” effects

The show started with a tiny budget and money has continued to stay tight ever since. But this has never dettered Dr Who which has always come out with ambitious storylines. Yes the city in The Daleks is clearly a model. And yes they expanded the corridors with painted sheets but they created an engrossing story. Special effects may impove over the years but the past effects are still good to watch and serve their purpose. It is good to see the new series has kept a slightly cheesy feel to some effects and make up as it adds to the charm and makes the show feel truly Dr Who.

In the future it will not be the special effects that are remembered but the fantastic stories.

 

Copyright © Nathan Groves http://wondersandparodies.blogspot.com/
This Work Is Not To Be Reproduced With Out Permission.