Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Doctor Who: Day Of The Moon: First Draft Parody Script




Opens with our travellers being chased  by Canton.

Rory
A three month gap? That’s never good. In Star Trek they were always losing during the three month gaps.

Amy
Why are you doing this?

Canton
To take advantage of location shooting. We should use it when we have it.

*****

Doctor
Canton you're building the perfect prison… well besides the Pandorica. It’s a good job you managed to sneak my invisible Tardis in here.


Canton
Yeah for all of the Tardis security features it sure is easy to move. 

Doctor
Well I can’t have it getting me out of trouble all the time. It needs to be stolen occasionally.

*****

Rory
They’re everywhere. Everywhere! It’s an occupation!

Doctor
Which is why we’ll split up to record vocal information. They’ll never catch on to it and vaporise us one by one.

Rory
How quaint. What about a portable projector to keep their image on the Tardis wall so we’d remember what we have learnt? Or we could keep pictures of them in our wallets, on our watch…

Doctor
Don’t start that again.

Canton and Amy go to an orphanage where the manager has forgotten it’s been closed for two years… So have the lawyers, estate agents, child agencies, his family, friends and utility suppliers. The Silence sure are thorough.

Amy
Wandering around alone in the dark sure is fun when you’re looking for dangerous aliens. Whait my recorders flashing, I’ll go out the window. Ahh! That’s a scary image. Shouldn’t we be worried about the kids?

Writer Steven Moffat
No its ok this is culture.

Amy
Culture?

Writer Steven Moffat
Yeah we’re exporting British culture to America remember?

The impossible girl astronaut appears.

The impossible girl astronaut
Help!

Amy
Sorry to shoot at you before. Luckily I’m a lousy shot.

The impossible girl astronaut appears
I hope that’s not genetic.

The Doctor and Rory arrive.

Rory
Where’s Amy?

Canton
Sorry I was failing to get information out of the manager when it happened.

Silence
We are the silence. Silence will fall.

Rory
Great. We don’t need to worry then.

Silence
No I didn’t mean… never mind you’ll forget what I say anyway.

Doctor
So humans decided to go to the moon because the Silence wanted a spacesuit?

Rory
That doesn’t make any sense the Russians proved they had working space suits first.

Doctor
Yes but it would have been harder to film and market to Russia.

*****

Canton
Say something incriminating to this camera I’m clearly holding.

Silence
We’re called the Silence we don’t just talk for the sake of it.

Canton
Amuse me.

Silence
Oh ok. Kill us on sight. Do not hesitate, show no mercy then dispose of our bodies so that you don’t remember us again.

Canton
Wow that was a lot better than I expected.

The Doctors lands inside the Tardis of the Silence.

Doctor
Want to watch the moon landing on television? You should, you helped it happen which does devalue the achievement somewhat.

Silence
It is worse than that. We have been influencing humans since they made fire.

Doctor
What? Then why haven’t I met you before?

Silence
We’re quite.

Doctor
Well not any more.

Video Recording of Silence
Kill us on sight.

Silence
That idiot!

River Song
You’re a big scary alien no ones shot you on sight before?

Silence
Amazingly not.

River Song
So you’re not prepared for me then.

River shoots them all while the Doctor distracts her with his screwdriver.

River Song
Yeah thanks for the help honey. Didn't I shoot efficiently considering I forget them the moment I take my eyes off them. Gosh I hope my old fella didn’t see me do that.

Rory
If I wasn’t so astonished I might read something into what you just said.

****

President Nixon
We’re safe now then?

Doctor
Kind of. I’d keep recording conversations though.

Amy
So I guess we’re now going to look for the girl in the spacesuit?

Writer Steven Moffat
Haha yeah right. I’ wil tease you with the girls regeneration though.

Doctor
Well I really think I need a holiday. How about a cruise?

 

Copyright © Nathan Groves http://wondersandparodies.blogspot.com/
This Work Is Not To Be Reproduced With Out Permission.
Image property of the bbc 

3 comments:

Kaleidoscope Acres said...

This is very funny and original
Thanks

Em said...

I'm enjoying Dr Who too. Funny parody Nathan.

BettyBoop said...

LOVE YOUR ENTHUSISIAM,,, WAY TO GO

Post a Comment