Opens with Nightcrawler charging through the White House beating up guards, in a sequence that's better than all of the combined action in the first film.
None of the guards die.
Good I won't have to feel guilty later.
A guard manages to graze Nightcrawlers arm with a bullet.
Ow, ooh that somehow jogged my memory. Better go.
Wolverine returns to the mutant school after a wasted journey, which thankfully happened in between movies.
You're bikes out of gas, and has a lot more miles on the clock. Oh and I'm sorry about the suspension, I'm a lot heavier than you.
Despite my anger I'm determined to enjoy every line I have.
Cyclops and Xavier go to visit Magneto..Xavier gets gassed and Cyclops gets knocked out more or less for good as far as the movies are concerned. Soldiers invade the school. Luckily for them it is the best time they possibly could.
Good job there's no lightning yielding women around here. That would really put a dampener on our air assault.
Well I have metal claws.
Metal claws ahh!
Wolverine takes out half a battalion of soldiers in a savage butcher like way. This movie is rated a 12?
Director Bryan Singer
Cool. Oh and remember kids knives are not cool.
Is that enough Wolverine slashing for us to escape now?
Ummmm I'd quite like a brief chat with Stryker first.
Hmm best to leave the revelations till the end of the movie. I will let you escape now.
OK chow bub.
Shall we hunted mutants, running for our lives take this conspicuous car with dodgy doors?
Sounds good to me.
Hey Night crawler want to come with us.
Yeh why not?
Screen time, screen time lalalalala.
Don't rub it in.
What exactly are you professor of?
You should see how he makes marks with his claws, very stylised.
Just please don't ever cut your way through a door by making an X shape.
Bobby's brother calls the cops, neglecting to tell them his house is filled with ice wielding mutants. The cops get beaten up but none of them die.
Morally convenient. I like it.
After some business with the US air force the X Men have a cosy camp fire with Magneto.
Anyone got some marshmallows?
Shouldn't the air force still be looking for us?
Just go with it. I have some exposition to get through and Bryan Singer doesn't want the audience to get bored.
They fly to Stryker's base. Wolverine (Mystique) walks up to door and attempts to get in by posing.
Shall I let your dangerous unstoppable mutant in sir?
Absolutely, what could go wrong?
The X men enter Stryker's base dramatically (off screen)
Right you're the last of my soldiers left alive so I want you to guard cerebro.
What about leaving Lady Death Strike with us?
She's no use against Magneto, she's made of metal.
But so are our guns and grenades.
OK then bye bye now.
Magneto takes over cerebro and gets Professor Xavier to target humans.
But don't I consider mutants humans as well?
Just target the ones without powers, the mutants and Jack Bower. I'm not at all like Hitler, honest.
The Death Strike is the most powerful weapon in the universe I suggest we use it.
Lady Death Strike
Actually I'll use myself whilst you run away. Just keep your adamantium bullets handy in case I fail.
I used to think you were one of a kind... well you and your brother. How is Sabretooth these days? Has he managed to get a hand manicure yet?
Wait a minute your Lady Death Strike? Wow you've lost a lot of weight.
Lady Death Strike
You mentioned my weight problem, you are so dead!
Wolverine and Death Strike fight, helpfully avoiding stabs through the head, as that would end the fight pretty quickly. Of course Wolverine eventually wins.
We've got to stop the professor.
Good idea. Night crawler beam us in.
But I'm the only one who can establish a mental link with Xavier.
I just need more to do, OK?
They beam into Cerebro.
Tonight's forecast a freeze is coming.
The X Men escape but the dam ruptures and they are about to drown.
Can't Ice Man freeze the water?
Are you kidding, have you seen how much there is?
OK I'll sort it out, I need more character development.
Later in the White House.
We're not here to threaten you, but we are.
Hmmm nice to be back at the school, I'll smile as I sense the Phoenix, even though I'm terrified of her in the sequel.
Ooh I'm making a phoenix shape in the water. I can't wait to be the central character of the next film.
WHAT? We can't have that. Bryan why don't you go and direct the new superman movie, even though it would be a really stupid idea.
Director Bryan Singer
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