Cutting Through The Crud: Picking A New Snow Board

Some of the crazy claims manufacturers have made over the years.

Deciding on a new snowboard is not easy. With so many a snowboard manufacturer describing themselves as the forerunner of snowboard technology and style. Excellent! You think now all you have to do is decide how much you can justify spending. Whilst you think about this you may as well look at the other snowboard manufacturing losers. Wait a minute! The first line you see on their page is “From our early pioneering days we have pushed snowboarding to ever greater levels.”

Eh? All advertisers have a certain artistic licence with there claims but no one can match a snowboard company in there claims at being the best.

Firstly I’ll mention the more down to earth and modest sites.

Palmer

Santa Cruz

Forum

Never Summer

Ride

Rome

Atomic

These are some actual claims from the least modest websites.

K2

Podium

 “The best board for the buck anywhere, the Podium is best in class combining superb technology and all terrain performance and versatility for any rider.”

Libtech

Swirl Sintered UHMW Base

A long name for a base which is described as “Slippery like banana” Great tech info guys.

Burton

By far the worst offender, but the company has come a long way since the days when they tried to patent the snowboard.

Vapour
Setting a standard that the competition can’t even fathom.

Ok…

Custom

From jumpers to jibbers, pow slashers to cruisers—this is without a doubt one board that everyone will have a blast on.

Except those who’ve been on the Vapour we assume.

Joystick

“three-stage rocker designs don’t get more turbo-charged than this”

Supermodel

“The Channel is snowboarding’s most direct connection—focusing power through a central connection spine that evenly distributes energy for added rebound and snap.”

Mayhem

Slow down. Just because the Mayhem™ is capable of supersonic speeds doesn’t mean you have to go that fast.

Faster than the Vapour and cheaper, brilliant. May as well go for the cheapest as they are all described as the best board.

Then there are statements which are just bizarre.

Balancing warp speed edge control and drive with force field stability on takes-offs and landings, (Burton website)

Those Trekkies wont be able to buy the board without some technobabble.

We even put the Deuce through our Infinite Ride™ factory break-in for perfect pop that lasts longer than you will.

So they’re saying the board will outlive me? When I’m snowboarding I really don’t want to think about my life expectancy.

Slow down. Just because the Mayhem™ is capable of supersonic speeds doesn’t mean you have to go that fast.

Don’t insult our intelligence.

To cut through the crud of snowboard boasts the best thing to do is talk to some experienced riders. There are a lot of good forums and a good shop should be able to help you. You can also look out for snowboard reviews but beware of reviews giving by snowboard pros who ride for that company.